Honesty at the Silent Down

November 9th, 2004

by Judith M. Tomasowa

As I sat and looked at the pages of my life

Calm night accompanying time as it goes

So slow and hampered tearing the psyche

As the silent lamb walked down to the butcher’s square

Kept incarcerated of disoriented numbness

I sought to the thee

My ardor, my ecstasy, my gasp

Had emerged into wretchedness

Snuffle out loud sprang from psyche of mine

Do perceive thee my sound of snuffle

Such as a cradle standing next to the old man

As it is to me

Straight spoken words followed by honest acts

Play in the main core of my desire

My pride, my style, my soul

peace and honour be my prestige

As the law of the nature

Goodness and badness

I speak the whole essence of my pride

And within I kept honest at my silent down

Seek God before Seeking Our Needs

"God will give us great things to solve, only when we are capable to solve small things in Him. Sometimes we don't see the way,that is because we haven't ask God to straighten our way to be seen and passed through. Seek God in every path, then He will straighten our way."

31. Okt 2008, Berlin

Recently, I experienced several moments where I was faced with many demands to fulfill. Most of that time, at first, I tried only to focus on the needs. It is normal, and nothing wrong with that. But, somehow I feel like i am running in a race at the lowest speed, no matter i have tried with all my effort. Basically I must arrange my financial fund for expenses at back home in Indonesia and at here in Berlin for a year. Meanwhile, when i was so busy in solving my problems, there came things requesting my attention. I must find persons to rent our Apartment and house in Indonesia. But, i have already been in Berlin. How do i can find them? I made an advertisement in internet, and hope that some one interested. I asked my mum to help me.

In that time of surrendering, i came to Sunday Service at the nearest church from my home in Berlin. At the end of service, there was an announcement, volunteers are needed for the Church's Open House. Me and my husband registered ourselves. I did not think much about the profit for me of being a volunteer for the church. I just do it for the good sake. Yet, my problems are still exist.

There days before my shift, i asked God at the beginning of my prayer. " God, please give me the rights to ask and to receive things. As I have nothing and be a stranger in Berlin. Here is my prayer God. I wish ........"

Nothing happened, nothing changed. My burdens are still there, waiting to be solved. At night, my husband led a Bible reading before sleeping. We keep saying, "God, please give me the rights to ask and to receive things. Here is our prayer,........"

Two day before my watch turn at the church, i remember saying to God, "God, the only thing i can offer right now, only my sincere heart to serve You. In any time and place, where i am and will be. May my turn of watch in a German Church Open House & Exhibition satisfy You. I may be the worst servant, since my German is not so fluent. Only this I can offer you. God, I rest my soul and and my mind into Your hand. May my soul rest in You."

Exactly, a day before my watch turn, my mum called from Indonesia and said that many people have called in, and wanted to rent our apartment and house. She was almost confuse on how to choose who will be the chosen one to rent. She said, it was a shock that many people called in, although we did not advertise in newspaper. Just two days after my request prayer to God, and a day before my watch turn, God gave my heart's desire. Since we already have persons renting our properties, then i can continue creating our financial budget for expenses in Indonesia and in Berlin. The rent fees are also helping me a lot.

Yesterday was my first day to serve at German Evangelism Church Open house and exhibition at the nearest church from my house. When I stepped in the church and serve there. God spoke to my heart,"God will give us great things to be solved, only when we are capable to solve small things in Him. Sometimes we don't see the way, that is because we haven't ask God to straighten our way to be seen and passed through. Seek God in every path, then He will straighten our way."

On my second day to serve at the Church Exhibition, God showed me another thing. I was surprised, that on this day, there were many people came. Today is the second of the most crowded day. I remember, once I spoke to God about my German and my sincere heart to serve. I saw He changed my limitation into something beyond human logical mind.

May God also show you, many of remarkable things in your life too.
GBU friends!

How Strong and Smart is Your Faith?

How strong and smart is your faith?

Sarikata@yahoogroups.com, Fri 2 November 2007
Judith Tomasowa, SE, M.Si

Do we all sometimes wish for something?
Wish is just a wish, without faith.
Faith is not a wish.

Faith, is a believe, a system that will influence us
It will bring us nearer to our dream
It is like a program, that will move the whole universe to assist us

A Faith, is not free from pain and struggle
A Faith, is not granted for nothing
A Faith, is a ever lasting believe on something

A Faith can't be form of something that is negative
A Faith is not a spell that fall from the sky

When you have a dream, then have a faith
Believe it or not, without you realize
Your activities are starting to focus on your dream
No matter what happened
You will run and gain your dream

Great people makes great things
They are memorable until these days because of their dream and faith

But, remember!
Don't ever cheat in your journey to victory
Winners are smart people, but they will never cheat!

Don't complaining for the pain
Winners are endurable people, but they will never discuss failures!

Winners are humble people
No one can't hurt them, because they are pleased with themselves

Be the agent of change
Be the wise guy among the smart.

Last, but not least
Choose your battle and your strategy
Don't waste your energy in a wrong implementation of faith.

My Heart's Desire

My Heart's Desire

23 September 2008

As I bow down before you, Oh My Lord
It is my heart and my mind speak
through my whispering voice at night
from my secret chamber of my soul

Yet not come, oh My Lord
Uncountable days and nights
i sat before you

Judge me, oh my Lord
shall my evilness come and crash my forehead
but, if my deed is known to you
come and rescue me at once

Thousands of my enemy
those who stand against me
when i live in the time of peace
have surrounded me

May Thee' eyes point at me
As they have exiled me
my life into the valley of death

I shout to you, oh My Lord
Shall my whispering loud
Shaking the bottom of the sea
Awakening you

You are, my shelter
My Relief in the time of grieve
The Prayer's remedy

May I say to my soul
Rest you are,
as the Thee has come

How many days and nights to come, My Lord?
Shall they not judge me
and say upon me none of narcissistic
"Thee has forgotten"

I believe in you, My Lord
The everlasting kindness has covered me all along
Love and kindness named after You
May my eyes shine bright due to the Covenant

-----------